


Summer Lovers

by orphan_account



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Romance, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-15 05:26:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10550818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Park Jinyoung, a well-known photographer in Korea, and Mark Tuan, a new rising model of Asia, are said to be working in one of the biggest companies in Korea. Having the chance to meet again, Jinyoung and Mark decides to enter a whole new level of their current relationship, only to be opposed by the constant long distance chats, once in a month dates and time zones. Will love prevail and save their relationship just like any other movie? Or will they sacrifice their distant love to lessen the pain of longing each other?





	

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special thanks to my lovely beta El !!! tysm love, im so grateful i found u *cries* & to my girlfriend, the one who constantly pursued me to write this ficccc, ilsym Ate Nes! :')

_One // 6.6k_

 

 

Many people hate the first day of the week, for the reason that to some people it can mean another start of a hellish week, another week to look forward to, another beginning of their lives, another week to waste, another week to suffer, but for me, Monday is just an ordinary day. It brings oblivion to me, just like any other days of the week. Plain. Ordinary. Simple. Well that's just me; I don't think any day is different. Monday is no different than Friday, any day of the week we will encounter as much as problems or blessings to us, every day is just plain.

 

 

Like the days, I am also ordinary compared to others, I am the perfect definition of bland. I don't like interacting with people because I simply hate being surrounded by them. I won't consider myself as an introvert though; I am just comfortable with selective people - my friends, my staff and my models.

 

 

Leaning against the wall on my bed, I scrolled over my Twitter timeline to try and entertain myself with photos of food, tweets from my college friends ranting about their lives and videos from Victoria’s Secret’s latest show. I sighed heavily, staring on my phone waiting for something – someone – to call, or to just talk to me. It has been a week since I took a break from my work. I’ve been experiencing lack of creativity in my field thus I decided to have a short vacation. I need to get new ideas and inspirations for my future projects, yet here I am, watching movies alone, eating ramyeon late at night and playing Call of Duty (though I never made any progress), beating the shit out of those strangers.

 

 

“Is there anything that can entertain me!?” I screamed, kicking the small pillows off the bed, totally done with my boring life. I looked at my phone when a video suddenly started playing. Judging from the long stage, this must be a runway. It was a thirty second clip of a model wearing the brand’s highlight product of the year. I read the caption, “Thanks @SupremeNewYork for this night!”

 

 

“Who’s this guy...” I replayed the video, taking a good look on his face. ” He looks familiar...” I clicked the link to the guy's profile and worked on my hidden FBI skills to stalk him. “From an honest opinion of a photographer," I paused, swiping the photos of him, "he looks unbelievably stunning." I admitted, nodding to myself as I continued scrolling on his Twitter media, "with the way he walked on the runway and his looks are also astonishing, he gives a very sexy glow,” I closely looked at his sharp features which is somehow, felt like... mundane, “those thin lips and bright smile, he’s totally—“ I suddenly stopped scrolling to stare at one of his photos. “Oh my god.”

 

 

He was a senior from our university. He was a neighbor. He was a friend. He was my summer lover.

 

 

“Woah, how could I forget this guy!” I straightened my back and picked up a bar of chocolate under my pillow, munching it slowly, as I returned to his profile, hesitating to click the “Follow" button. Yes? No? I found myself staring again at the gradient wall opposite of me, following him might lead to other things – mistake, happiness, hope and disappointment. Why? Because he was my first love and now that he's appeared right in front of me - on my phone - I seriously don't know what to think, should I be happy that I finally found the man who lead me on  then suddenly told me he's sorry for being too kind to me, or should I click the Home button and just forget about him showing up?

 

Locking up my phone, I stood up from my bed and dragged myself into the shower near my room to wash up. The water felt cold against my skin, which means the weather right now is an ideal time to walk. After washing up, I changed to some decent casual clothes, slipped my wallet and phone into the back pocket of my denim jeans then grabbed a scarf from the drawer. "Please tell me this will not lead me into any kind of mistake." I said to myself, welcoming the cold wind of March.

  
  


 

 

_ June 2011 _

It was four years ago, when I enrolled Seoul Institute of the Arts. I was in my first year of studying film and photography. Ever since I was born, my love for photography is really out of hand, I collected photographs of different places and post all of it on my wall as a wallpaper. Since then I knew my future was already planned.

 

My portfolios are mainly focused on one subject; a photo that brings various meanings from the viewer's eyes - mostly a person’s reaction, movement or their eyes – which gave me a lot of advantages during my freshmen year, though I won't say that I was the best, but I knew I was known by the many. They would constantly ask me for photo blog tips and would hire me as a photographer for their events.

 

Six months later, an exchange student - who has the looks of an innocent boy, with a hint of sexiness in his voice and sharp features - arrived on the first day of the second semester and right after his arrival, he was already considered as the new face of our campus whom everyone - admired. From men, ladies, staff, professors, you name it! He’s an actual angel to everyone, the students, the school personnel, to me - his secret admirer.

 

We were classmates on Sociology 1, and that was the time when my admiration started to grow deeper. Mark was seated right in front of me, quietly jotting down notes and listening to the teacher's lecture while I stared at his back, appreciating his porcelain skin and soft brown locks. Until one day, while I was reading something on my book to catch up for yesterday’s lecture, which I missed because of my stupid best friend - Mark suddenly turned around and tapped on my desk, "You were absent yesterday, so here,” he placed his notebook on top of my book, then looked at me with a smile, "You can copy my notes. The professor will be coming in an hour." He returned to his original position leaving me in awe. I carefully reached for the notebook and flipped its pages, I observed his messy writings, took a mental note that he likes to doodle at the ends of the paper. "I'll be prone to absences if he continues to be like this." I whispered to myself, enjoying the little happiness of copying his notes.

 

 

 

As a photography student, it was highly recommended to find different subjects for our portfolio; that's why we were given a lot of free time roaming around the university campus or the city, to look for any inspirational shots to submit to our weekly selections. Holding up the camera up to my eye level, I steadied my camera, fixing the focus on the empty wooden bench with the sunlight adding its lonely ambiance. Touching the button and ready to snap, someone suddenly poked me on my left shoulder. “H-hey...” I heard him say, I quickly clicked the shutter button before turning around to see the exchange student, my crush, Mark Tuan. He was looking at me shyly, his brown eyes directly looking at me. “Oh... Hi…” I awkwardly replied, taking a good view of a coy Mark Tuan.

 

“We’re classmates in Prof. Shin’s class last semester, I’m Mark Tuan.” He offered me a handshake that I automatically returned, his hand felt warm and soft with mine. “Yeah I know. The exchange student who let me copy his notes, I’m Park Jinyoung.” I smiled, trying to hide my overflowing emotions. He gestured me to seat at the empty bench as I stole glances at the mysterious box he’s holding.

 

“This is a bit straightforward… I actually need your help, Jinyoung.” he was lowering his head more than before, mixing Korean and English words. Cute. “Help for what, Mark?” I answered, as I watched his long fingers playing with the ribbons of the box.

 

“Uh… How do I say this…” he said, still fumbling with the ribbons. “Can you be my photographer because I think you’re really great, please accept these brownies.” He blurted out in a fast manner then sighed a relief probably thinking I understood what he said. He then gently placed the strange box onto my lap, still avoiding any type of contact.

 

“Mark…” I whispered loud enough for him to hear me. He flinched from his seat, “Y-yes?” He looked at me again, his face showing all sorts of sadness and nervousness. Oh boy. I should be the one who’s edgy - considering the guy who I admired for nearly a year was talking to me, sitting beside me and I’m impressed I’m hadn’t been sent to the hospital for any type of cardio malfunctions due to the rapid beating of my heart.

 

“I’m sorry to say this but—“

 

“It’s o-okay! I can just ask-” I held his shoulders, totally forgetting about our little skinship, “To be honest, I didn’t understand a word from what you just said Mark. Can you say it again?” I blurted out, making him confused and even shyer. “Oh...” He started to fumble - now - with the strands of his faded ripped jeans, one of his mannerisms which I found adorable. “We have this monthly project in one of our major subjects, and the project for this month is to find a photography student and be one of their models for their portfolio. So, I was asking if you can be my photographer, Jinyoung?”

 

The thought of him looking at the lens of my camera, smiling and posing, drove my mind crazy. I can’t stop picturing things that’s way beyond reality while my adrenaline was got my adrenaline pumped wildly on my nerves causing my whole body to froze.

 

“Hello? Park Jinyoung? Jinyoungie?” he moved closer to my face, waving his hand to get my attention.

 

Startled, I jolted away causing the box to abruptly move. “Yes! Yes! Yes, I can be your photographer Mark. I-I mean, I would be pleased to have you on my portfolio.” To have your glorious face on my portfolio.

 

“Really!? Thank you so much!" He exclaimed, showing his 1000-watt smile, "I honestly thought you were going to reject my favor. So, I bought these brownies to— uhm— maybe bribe you? If it’s going to work?” he laughed with his little fangs visible while scratching the back of his head. God, why did you gave him the brightest smile in this world. “You didn’t have to do that though, thank you for this,” I replied, peeping at the holes of the box, the pleasant smell of brownies clouding my mind. “Oh god, the smell itself is appetizing I can’t wait to eat these later!”

 

“It’s good you like it, I visited the best pastry shops here in Seoul to get the best one.”

 

“I really appreciate the fact that you chose me, out of all the photography students in our division.” I confessed, kicking the invisible dirt on the floor.

 

“I know you’re an impressive student, Jinyoung. Every week I visit your division’s site to check your photographs and yours are just – they’re a whole new level of art for to me.” I began to feel warmth creeping on my cheeks and ears, looking away to hide my face. I tried to maintain my composure, thinking of ways on how to excuse myself without sounding dumb.

 

“Mark, I’m sorry but I forgot that I had to meet someone.” Okay, I know that was the most absurd excuse, I honestly didn’t care. I was blushing in front of him. I didn’t even know why. Was it because of the brownies or the way he called me “Jinyoungie” or maybe because it was summer, maybe the bench was beautiful, or was it because my crush just asked me to be his photographer and even bought me brownies while sitting in that wooden bench, complimenting my works while looking at the bright sky with the sunlight helping him to look more angelic and appealing? Either one of the choices, I seriously needed to excuse myself to calm my tits and write another entry to my ''Reasons to Hate Mark Tuan” notebook.

 

I managed to pull out a pen and a paper, scribbling my number in a speed of light then handed the piece of paper to him. “It was nice meeting you Mark—“

 

“Before that Jinyoungie, feel free to be comfortable with me. You need to be comfortable with your model to produce good quality photos, right?” He stood up before me, folding the now crumpled paper and tucked it in his side pocket. “See you tomorrow, Jinyoungie!”

 

And I swear, I had never wished for tomorrow to be one blink away as much as I did that day.

 

  
  


_ Present _

I woke up from the continuous ringing of notifications on my phone. Blinking lazily, I reached out for my phone on top of my bedside table, then checked whoever or whatever’s my notification. Instagram, Kakaotalk, Telegram, Twitter. I clicked the Twitter application with its “17” notification badge then checked the Notification bar. Scrolling through the tweets, a certain name caught my attention, I sat up and confirmed if it was legit or not. I choked, I dared not move, I dared not breathe. I was frozen in that spot. The name displayed before my eyes were probably made up hallucination judging from how blurry my eyes were.

 

“Mark Tuan followed you back,” I read loud and clear, my eyes widening at the mention of his name, “Chicken Jae— whatever, I don’t care.” I muttered, piercing hardly at my phone. “Mark Tuan liked 2 of your tweets— what the fuck, why is he liking my nonsense tweets!?" I instantly got up from my bed, moving to the nearby sofa, "Out of all these thousands of tweets— I’m so done! I am ashamed, he just stalked me! I bet he read my hysterical tweets about— okay, this is crazy. No, not good. I should call that sleeping chicken hold up—“ Speed dialing contact, chickenbum. He answered after four rings, sounding like he’s going to rip my head. I explained my not-so-nice situation to him in a systematic manner. I could literally hear my heart pounding against my ribcage as I spoke, they were so loud, I bet Jaebum could hear them from across the line.

  
  


“You’re calling me just to say that Mark-summer-crush-Tuan followed you and liked two shitty tweets of yours?” Jaebum said, half curious, half enraged.

 

“Yes! It looks like he’s giving me some sign! Like ‘hey jinyoung i do remember you, message me back asap.” with wink emoticon!!” I explained, throwing my stuff toys onto the floor, except for my pikachu plushie.

 

“You’re saying that he’s giving you signs to make the first move?” Jaebum confirmed.

 

“Goddamn yes Im Jaebum! Oh no, this kid definitely changed! It’s very evident! I’m not falling for his trap! AGAIN.”

 

“Now, you’re saying that these are traps?” Jaebum confirmed again, a hint of annoyance in his voice. “Exactly!”

 

“......”

 

“Jaebum?”

 

“Are you high, Jinyoung? Is liking tweets means hitting on someone?! Huh!? Seriously Park Jinyoung?” I heard him let out a sigh before continuing. “For the love of god, stop overreacting again Jinyoung. It’s all in the past. If he’s trying to befriend you, well then that’s good! Stop making assumptions that will only hurt you again. Okay? You know what he did before was not his fault! He was kind, thoughtful, an angel, don't make me remind you that you were the one who expected 'more' in your friendship.”

  
  


I paused for a while, thinking of what to rebut but all that’s going through my mind was that Jaebum was right, he was always right. I was just making predicaments to shame him, to avenge for what he had done to me unknowingly. Sitting up straight, I apologized to Jaebum for being a nuisance, then bid good bye. I quietly stood up, the memories of the past screwing my agitated mind. I shook my thoughts off and gathered all my energy to wash up then went out for brunch.

  
  


Later that night when Mark followed me back, I wasn’t really expecting that he’d send me a direct message on Twitter but just like Jaebum said I should not jump into conclusions, I should behave according to my age and not to my resentment. All of it was ages ago.

 

I casually replied to him, answering his questions 3-5 minutes late— that was something Jaebum taught me— or sometimes I purposely forget to reply thus making him send another message to me. The morning came pretty fast that I didn’t notice as we were talking, reminiscing, imagining our good ol’ days at the university, it was already four in the morning. “I should go to sleep or maybe grab some early breakfast in McDonald’s.” I said to him, waiting for his immediate reply.

 

“I’m kind of worried about you. You are so infatuated to McDonald’s ever since I met you. Anyway, I should also go. I have work in a few hours. Bye, Jinyoung!” I read his reply as I tried not to squeal when he said he was worried for me, his faint voice calling me softly on my mind. I smiled to myself, this whole Mark Tuan thing suddenly happening is like a dream to me; my old crush talking to me. It’s nostalgic, all the memories from the past came back, drowning me with moments where hidden glances and touches were kept.

 

“If this is a dream, I might as well enjoy every bit of it.”

 

That morning, I skipped breakfast and slept for the whole day, dreaming about a transfer student from LA, who was madly in love with me but refused to confess his feelings. It seemed real, like I was indeed experiencing it but the only difference was that the Jinyoung in my dream was too stupid to notice the transfer student's actions towards him.

 

 

 

_ June 2011 _

Mark and I planned to meet at the same bench behind the university’s cafeteria. It was a bit sunny that afternoon, the sun was peeping at the massive fluffy looking clouds. I arrived a little early— no, I wasn’t overly excited to see him— while waiting for the LA boy, I observed the people around me. There were couples sitting five benches away from me, a girl in a ponytail holding a blank sketchbook standing below the oldest tree in our university and a boy who was god forsakenly handsome, wearing black long sleeves under a red plaid shirt paired with ripped denims and Timberlands, walking towards my direction.

 

He sat beside me, glanced at me to give a smile, a smile that’s brighter than the sun, a smile that I will always thank God for. He leaned on the bench, his warmth that I was fully aware of with the way our arms were touching. My mind was focused on the presence beside me, his unique scent that sent me to another level of admiration.

 

“So, have you thought about the theme for this week’s portfolio?” He started, his eyes darted at the girl who was still sitting below the tree.

 

“I actually thought about it, and considering you’re—“ hot as fuck. Mark, who was now looking at me, gave me an anticipated look. “—I wanted to capture the best of you.”

 

“The… best… of me?” He shifted closer and gave me a look of curiosity. “Y-yeah, if you’re good in dancing or flipping bottles then that will be it! I just need that look on your face that says ‘I’m the best!’”

 

“Are you sure ‘bout that, Jinyoungie? Because I’m not, well I think that’s a great motif but it does not fit me.” He said— his slurry pronunciation made him cuter even without trying.

 

“Uhhh—yes? Why?”

 

“Aside from martial arts— turning myself into a living Frisbee— I don’t really have any talent or skill. It’s the only thing I can do.” Oh boy, you do many things to me.

 

“Jinyoungie?” I absentmindedly stared at him, I felt my cheeks turn warm, “Oh, okay. What about, something that makes you happy? Going to amusement parks, eating, shopping or maybe even studying?”

 

“I’m the happiest when I’m sleeping.” He answered, hiding his sheepish smile. I paused for a while, thinking about the only option left for me when he started speaking again, “Many people think I go to shops, play basketball or date girls on weekends but truth to be told, I just literally sleep a lot. A lot means, on weekends, on holidays, on school hour breaks. I just... sleep. It makes me better, escaping the world of reality and replacing it with a peaceful world.” How cute is it, describing sleeping like it’s the most precious thing in his life.

 

“That’s it! I have to catch you sleeping!”

 

“On my bed?” I choked by mistake, was that the only thing he can think of when it comes to sleeping? “That means you have to stay by my side the whole day! Or maybe you have to sneak in to my room just to catch me sleeping— if you call that sneaking.”

 

I didn’t think of any of those! I can just take a photo of him, sleeping in the library or in this bench! That’s just too— too much but deep inside of my heart I thank Mark for having such a brilliant idea. “Then that’ll be a challenge for me. I have to be alert on my subject, I have to take the best-est shots of a sleeping Mark Tuan!”

 

“That will be pretty hard, Jinyoungie. But other than a sleeping me, what else do you want to see?” His god damn words were corrupting my weak mind. “Then how about your daily life, something that you normally do, your routine.”

 

“Jinyoung, the case is— I’m boring.” He didn’t know that he’s fully entertaining me right now, “No, you’re not.” I said truthfully.

 

“Just wait and see. I will prove to you that I’m really just a boy who loves sleeping.” He looked at the sky, his mind probably wandering with the thoughts that only he can know. “We’re going to start as soon as possible. I’ll give you some time if you want.”

 

“Thanks. Yeah, I need time to clean my room. It’s made of eighty percent papers and twenty percent clothes. I’ll send you a message within this week.” He then stood up, I took the hint that it’s already time to bid good byes. “Sure, Mark.” I briefly replied, and then we parted ways.

 

  
  


 

_ Present _

The rest of the second week past by sooner than I thought and I’m back to working again. I let my lazy self be dragged by Bambam inside my studio. I half greeted my team members, waving for help which they only returned with a shrug and laugh. We entered his office right at the corner of the huge studio, sat me down on his animal printed couch— which I bought for him-- then locked the door. Bambam sat down beside me, a devilish smile drawn on his stupid face. “Quit the act Mr. Animal Print.”

 

“What act Mr. I-Know-What-You-Did-The-Whole-Week?” he answered, wriggling his eyebrows, smirking at me. I glared at him for so long, he just laughed then got up to get a pair of glasses and a bottle of champagne. Did he know that I was semi-flirting with Mark? Well if you consider it "semi" when we were just talking all night long.

 

“Isn’t it too early to drink?” I asked him, clearly changing the topic.

 

“Any time of the day is too early for you.” He poured my glass an ample of liquid then continued to pour his own glass. We just sat there on his couch, engulfed by the silence that was growing louder and louder each minute passed by. “If you’re not going to spill the beans Park Jinyoung, I will not give you this big project that I have for you.” He said in a more serious tone, staring at the golden fluid in his glass. What could he possibly know about what happened last week?

 

“Nothing really happened to me, Bambam. I’m not falling for your stupid trap, I just slept and ate the whole vacation.”

 

“Oh man!” he dropped his serious face and pouted, “I thought I got you! I even opened an expensive bottle of champagne because you actually look like you’re hiding something but anyway, tell me is my acting good?” I let out an inaudible sigh of relief and agreed to his so-called acting.

“I almost forgot to tell you,” he continued, looking at me intently, “That Yugyeom’s first ever magazine will be released in the next two months!” He excitedly announced as he grabbed a folder of documents and handed it to me. “Read this one, Yugyeom personally recommended you to be the first ever photographer for his magazine.”

 

“Is this for real?! I mean, Kim Yugyeom, the CEO of KYG Entertainment!"' Bambam looked so proud, mouthing "Uhuh, that's my boyfriend."

 

"This is worth opening another bottle of much more expensive wine!” he threw me a glare and continued playing with his glass. “So, who’s the lucky model to cover the first issue of this magazine?” I curiously asked while reading the contract.

 

“Mark Tuan.” Bambam casually said, looking at his newly polished nails. This isn’t happening, he knew that there was something between me and Mark! This can't be pure fate! It’s as if the heavens had suddenly decided to cruelly play with this fragile human being heart of mine. The thought of meeting him again after all those years got me feeling all tingly on the insides, it’s a weird sensation and I’m in no right mind to deal with it. “How did you know?” I barely whispered.

 

“What are you talking about? Of course, I will know! Yugyeom told me directly that he wants Mark Tuan to be his model. It could’ve been me— his gorgeous boyfriend— but he said he won’t share any of my sexy side to the public. How sweet of him.” I can’t hear anything he was saying. I can only hear one thing. His name, Mark Tuan, kept ringing the bells inside my head. Is this some kind of an ill fate?

 

“Anyway, he’s on the way. Better make your appearance—“ He stood up then scanned me from head to toe, “Uh, a little formal? Since you’ll be meeting him and discussing all the details later.” He walked to his dresser and threw a pair of black skinny jeans, a black turtleneck and a gray blazer. “I will give you some privacy. I don’t want to see that bare skin of yours.”

 

When Bambam left, I let out a high pitch scream, reading the paper where “Mark Tuan” was written in size 56 of the font, Times New Roman. “No, god, this is insane.” I punched the couch so many times that I can barely feel the pain on my knuckles. “There are so many models here in Seoul, why does it have to be him!?” Then I started kicking in the air when I remembered something Bambam said, “Holy mother of buns, he’s on the way!”

 

I got up from my seat, searched for the said clothes my friend told me to wear. After five minutes of trying to fit my legs in his pants, I successfully finished changing just as Bambam entered again the room. “Hey, what happened to you?” he asked worriedly, while fixing my tousled hair. “I don’t know, is he out there?” Bambam only nodded, “One of his staff came to me and said he didn’t get enough sleep last night, he’s a bit bitchy as of now. Just end the meeting as soon as possible, ‘kay?” I nodded nervously. Nervous because after four years of escaping the beautiful but sad memories and painful laughter, I am now meeting the man whom I admire before.

 

 

 

 

_ June 2011 _

Mark texted me to come over to his dorm, to of course— set up my camera for the right angles and to bring some lighting props since his room was too dim because of the old light bulbs he’s currently using.

 

“I’m sorry, my room is still messy, I swear I tried my best to arrange these,” he pointed at the big pile of clothes on the floor, situated near his bathroom, “and I guess I need to buy another dresser for these.” He scratched his head, biting his lip out of embarrassment.

 

I quickly scanned the pile of clothes only to notice his unfolded shirts and cute boxers designed with random cartoon characters, plus the boxes of gifts from his admirers that left me quite jealous. “It’s normal, Mark. Seriously, you don’t have to worry, mine’s worse.” Coming from me, a certified neat freak that was once awarded for being the tidiest student back in grade school.

 

Mark suddenly beamed another bright smile after hearing those comforting words. “Okay, so~” he scanned his own room, turning around only to stop to face me, “What do you think? You obviously need to add some lighting here and there.” I nodded to agree, “Yeah, and by the way I like your bed setting. Spiderman sheets with Pikachu pillows. Perfect combination.” I sat down on his bed comfortably, he was stumbling with words to rebut.

 

“Stop teasing me! They’re my favorite characters, if I know you’re using Hello Kitty table mats!” I laughed at his response, it was the funniest rebuttal I ever heard.

 

“You could’ve said a manlier character, Mark. Hello kitty? Are you serious?”

 

“Why! Hello Kitty’s cute, it fits you. Both cute.” I can’t believe he just compared me to that cat character! I can feel that familiar warmth on my neck and face again. Damn Mark Tuan and his silly words!

 

“So—uhm okay— what do you normally do at this hour?” I said out of nowhere, completely changing the topic. Mark looked at the clock, furrowing his eyebrows, “Sleeping.” He answered, “But, I’m not sleepy right now, guess I’ll entertain myself with watching American series.”

 

“Okay, you set up your laptop, while I arrange my props.”

 

I pulled out the mini reflectors on my bag, arranged it in front of the small black table where the laptop was placed. I was searching for the flash when my stomach accidentally growled. “Oh shit.” I was sleeping the whole day yesterday that I forgot to eat dinner and breakfast. Mark let out a laugh, he got up and grabbed his phone, “What do you want for brunch?” I avoided his eyes, distracting myself by searching for the flash, “McDonald’s.”

 

I saw him shaking his head, muttering something inaudible his smile never leaving his face, “Stop staring at me, Jinyoungie. You’re too cute.”

 

We finished eating our brunch within an hour after the food arrived, then we decided to start the photoshoot. I positioned myself opposite of Mark, who’s already set up in front of his laptop with a bag of Lays on his lap. I kneeled to adjust to the height of the tripod, watching him through the viewfinder munching the potato chips messily.

 

I waited to capture his laugh, his pout, his confused face – his various emotions, giggling at him when he tried to put on a poker face whenever he’s aware of my presence. I switched positions from here and there to get a perfect perspective of him, only to appreciate more of his hidden charms, his occasional lip biting, squinting of his eyes because of his poor eyesight, pouting when an episode ends and so much more that I was thankful I was the only one witnessing it right then. He was truly an art sculptured by god; he's a true product of beauty.

  
  
  


 

 

_ April 2017 _

The weather today was unexpectedly beautiful, the summer breeze of April paired with a cold cup of iced coffee, a perfect time for long walks by the river. Not to mention, strolling with god’s greatest creation, Mark Tuan. A beautiful day indeed.

 

Following his light footsteps and admiring how beautiful he is from any angle, constantly asking myself how on Earth his parents made him. How unfair it is to be born with such perfect imperfection. I waved my thoughts off. No, not again. I looked back to him, noticed that he grew taller and he was skinnier now compared to his photos, his face hadn’t changed at all – his little fangs just made him sexier this time.

 

Right foot, left foot, right— I felt my head bump into something, “Are you just going to walk behind me or I’ll drag you so that you can walk beside me?” He was now glaring at me, occasionally sniffing due to the cold. “O-okay.” I answered anxiously.

 

“What okay? ‘Okay, I’ll walk beside you’ or ‘okay, drag me to wherever you want to go’?”

 

“I’ll walk! I’ll walk on my own.” I said, still not looking at him. I felt something warm wrapped around my wrist. Shocked, I looked at him and saw a smirk on his face, he locked his fingers with mine placing it inside his pocket. I tried— believe me— to retrieve my hand but he was too persistent. He was obviously enjoying it— though I won’t deny that his hand was really small but felt big with his random thumb taps on the back of my palm and soft squeezes, a familiar warmth which reminded of the time when I first felt his hand.

 

After the short walk, we arrived at a takeout stall of McDonald’s, he read the menu, his eyes wandering on the small LED setup inside the stall. “Can we get two boxes of nuggets and two cups of iced coffee?” the staff nodded, stealing glances on Mark, muttering something between “I know him” and “ohmygod he’s mark tuan!!” The girl returned with our food clearly giving Mark a flirty smile only to be ignored by the model. “Let’s go, we have a lot to talk.” He let go of my hand to grab a box of nuggets then handed it to me.

 

“Your favorite.” he smiled, offering me the cup of coffee. I stood there, beside him, the impact of his words still bothering me, making my cheeks turn into a light shade of pink. His gaze fell upon me, I looked away to hide my face, “How are you? You became the person I expected you to be.” He peered at the pale blue sky, tracing the outlines of the faded clouds.

 

What was he expecting from me? Did I really become the person he expected me to be? Or is he pointing out on something else?

 

“I’m good,” I answered, sipping the cold beverage, “Of course bad things happened, sudden cancellation of projects, models or artists backing out and demanding agencies, it’s part of life. You’re not always on top.” I heard him hum in approval, I stole a glance at him, and he was smiling. That same smile, I can see his soul right through it— all of his emotions pouring out as he stared above. Sadness. Freedom. Loneliness. He was smiling but his eyes were telling another story, an untold story of a boy who wants to escape, who’s tired with everything.

 

“How about you Mark?” I continued examining his features, the distance between us became unbearable. “What did you do for the past four years?” I saw him closing his eyes, and I thought the world had stopped; he was still the same angelic Mark. He inhaled deeply before speaking up again, “I never— expected I’ll end up like this. Modeling is great, you walk on runways, wear the best clothes but it’s not actually as easy as everyone else thinks.”

 

“I love modeling of course," he continued, "and sometimes I noticed that I am so into it that I forgot a lot of things, a lot of people, and it really makes me sad and lonely. It’s like I’m inside of some dimension, trapped and I want to be free. I want to live simply but I don’t know where to start. I don’t know if I can manage to get through this, Jinyoung. It suffocates me.”

 

The cold wind brushed past against us with our food and coffees long forgotten. Silence stretched for god only knows how long. We let the silence speak for ourselves and comfort each other. It felt natural how our breath seemed to be synchronizing. His occasional light sniffles were music to my ears, and I find myself dancing to its every beat. I started to smile, just when I sensed that our little telepathic conversation ended.

  
  


“Jinyoung,” he started, “I’m sorry.” I turned to look at him, “For what?”

 

“I know there was something bothering you before you left four years ago. I just want to apologize if my behavior led you to something that wasn’t much of my intention.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “I liked you Jinyoung, and I regretted every day that passed for not saying those three words when I had the chance. I’m such a coward, I know, I don’t want to ruin our friendship that time and now I must let it out of my chest because the more I hide my past feelings for you, the more I turn into a mess.” He took a glance at my direction, locking his gaze with mine, trying to find an answer.

 

I was confused and mad at the same time. If only he was braver, if only I was braver, we could’ve ended up together. We could’ve been cuddling right now and not hearing these regrets.

 

“I liked you, Jinyoung. You don’t have any clue how much I liked you back then.” he took my hand, caressing it softly like he’s holding the most precious thing in the world, every second of his touch intoxicated me, his words slowly invading my subconscious. “From the moment you stepped out of that office, the words that I was hiding for the past years were suddenly rushing up to be said once again.” I can’t think straight, hearing those words made my heart beat fast again. Like they’re waiting for this moment, they’re meant to beat this fast for him. “I don’t want to be any more coward than I already I am right now. I have to say this now or else this will be another regret of mine.” Everything was now spinning, I felt dizzy, confused but relaxed. It felt as if I was destined to listen to the words that he'll say. I stared at his hand over mine, recalling every word he just said, “I like you, Park Jinyoung.” he left a soft peck on the back of my palm, squeezing it softly. “I still like you, Jinyoungie.”


End file.
